Friday, April 22, 2005

CPJL: Have a Unified Aesthetic, and Your Mediocrity will be Assuaged


Blogger Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

What are you ladies (errr...guys...errr whatever) doing!???

12:01 PM  
Blogger The Governess said...

What I Am Doing, by The Governess

1. Right this very second, I am sitting at someone else’s desk as IT tries to fix my Outlook calendar.

2. The past week, I sat at my desk for approx. 8.75 hours every day, because that’s how I get paid. Also, I did a bunch of stuff for my employer, stuff that is on my job description, stuff that earns me the BIG BILLZ so I can continue this glamorama lifestyle of mine.

3. On Monday, I went to the gym while my husband was at the ball game. I read a book, talked to my neighbors, and petted their golden retriever. Also, I went to the grocery store. I bought apples. I ate yogurt for lunch almost everyday this week, despite buying apples.*

4. On Tuesday, I went to the gym.

5. On Wednesday night, I:
a. Drank all the Magic Hats in the world
b. Half-assed a single game of Boggle with LJG, sticking only to swear words as WONT my nature
c. Accidentally watched Steve Harvey on UPN, playing jazz piano?
d. Annoyed everyone by insisting on playing the song "$300" on repeat
e. Spent the rest of my time playing "Name that St. Louis Neighborhood" with Deep Throats son
f. Went home in the wee early hours and was pleased to see I finally have a new front door, installed by some lovely Home Despot elves we paid out the ass to custom-make a new front door. It is a long story. I simultaneously hate and love my new door.

6. Last night, I went to bed at 8:30, read a comic book, at some mozzarella, and fell asleep watching the old guy on "CSI" weep about his hooker daughter, who looked just like a former roommate of mine IF said former roommate were to turn hooker in LA instead of being a dog-owning fitness instructor in Chapel Hill

7. Tonight, I’m going on a date with my husband, after he finishes a long day of building ships. I think we’ll see a movie, or maybe we’ll go out to dinner. Maybe I will MAKE dinner. Maybe we’ll stay at sticking each other in the eyes with red hot pokers. I am pretty much open for anything, seeing as he is the most single kickass person to spend time with in the universe.

8. This weekend, I’m playing poker at a friends place, painting the trim in my living room, drinking a lot of coffee, trying to find a graduation gift for my best friend, reading the paper, and meeting my parents for lunch. I need to buy plane tickets to Chicago and New Mexico, this summer’s wedding season locales. I will probably drink too heavily at least once between now and Monday, although no confirmed plans. I believe the Nationals are out of town this weekend. I was going to make an Eastern Market run for tulips, but it’s going to rain.

9. Next week’s highlights include the beginning of my Very Radical Organized Sports Team’s playoffs, dinner with friends, a chiropractor’s appointment, and a baby shower.

And that, gentlemen, is 9 reasons why I don’t keep a blog.

* Except for yesterday, when I found myself gnawing on a chicken wrap at Crapplebees or some such place with clients whose names I don’t really remember? So, yeah, chicken wrap, you suck? Even when I am tearing you apart as if I am a wolverine?

1:07 PM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

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1:10 PM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:12 PM  
Blogger The Duchess said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

Wow. That could've been a great posting. Still learning, I see.

Um, you eat yogurt everyday for lunch? You got a healthy...@@#$%.

And, MAKE dinner--it makes us loyal.

And, pet the "dog," or he'll go find another porch to sit on.

Enjoy your weekend. If you want flowers, go see The Florist.

1:57 PM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

I would add the following to the story of our Wednesday adventure:
We ran into The Chef (hi, Chef!) and forgot our TOP SECRET CPJL notebook at the bar. This is where we record all of our best ideas and most nefarious plots to ruin the lives of men. Bill found - and kindly returned - the notebook. Though he did read the contents, I don't know if he put 2 + 2 together since we're lazy and had only written a few slogans ("Technically, we're squatters") and the words from our boggle game.

2:01 PM  
Blogger The Governess said...

that's an adorable use of symbols in place of crassness. And yes, I do have a healthy brain. I assume that's what you were referring to.

sigh, sigh, yes, still fucking learning, this one. posting is so beyond my dinosaur-brain capacity. I'd much rather lurk.

Anyways, you asked what we were doing. There you have it.

2:05 PM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

I think CPMC is in a bad mood today! Sheesh.

2:08 PM  
Blogger The Governess said...

i am.

it's fucking raining AND cold.

2:09 PM  
Blogger Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

brain---good one. so witty....too bad you're married!

hey, um, who the eff is Bill? I think you meant "MICK," Miss A.O'N. Right? Hey, did you get your taxes done on time?

4:49 PM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

5:06 PM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

Um, are you an Aroma regular or not?? I suspect not if you don't know who Bill is;) I'm talking about something different than the Fidelity-folder-falling-on-the-floor incident from a while ago.

You can tell your friend/roommate "MICK" that I found his nicer-than-garden-variety lighter, and I'll leave it with one of the guys at the bar for him.

LOL - yes, taxes done on time.

5:20 PM  
Blogger Elvis said...

Since CPJL members have remained silent as to my schedule, I thought it proper for review. If you were ever curious, LJG:

1. Right this second, I'm trying to gather my thoughts. I have no original thoughts, if ever, so have only to offer, ah. Hey. Look. I found my pen.

2. Found a nice cardboard box on my neighbor's stoop. Since he wasn't using it at the time, took it. Sat in it in living room for personal record time of 9.5 hours.

3. Last week, went into bar and started conversation with bartender, who seemed so genuinely bored, he took out a magazine and started reading it while I was talking.

4. On Monday, went to work and started calling everyone "JJ", accompanied by a wink and shooting motion of my index finger, for no apparent reason. IT guys beat me within inch of my life in supply closet because they all went to UNC.

5. On Tuesday, ran into a guy named John. Not Jonathan.

6. Tuesday, decided I wanted some tulips. On way home, "nationalized" some tulips from neighbor's window box. Told her next morning, "you should really do something with those, place looks like crap."

7. On wednesday night, had date. Attempted to seduce date by telling her, "last time we were really drunk, we hit it off... what happened?" She left. Finished rest of Johnny Walker Red. Called later, asked to come over to "just talk." Went over for some good "conversation."

8. Yesterday, wrote to Mayor "strongly" advocating that Ishtar, starring Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman, be made DC's Official Movie. As evidence, submitted signed affidavit that I'd seen it 2348 times, including the 72 consecutive-hour marathon back in '99. Billed the hours to undiclosed and non-existent client.

9. Tonight, taking inventory of dimples on my Titleist golf balls.

And those, ladies, are 9 reasons why Elvis doesn't comment on blogs.

5:33 PM  
Blogger The Senator said...

You mean BILLY? Who the eff calls him Bill?

2:47 AM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

*shrug* Bill/Billy - whatever.

You guys are so cranky, man!

2:29 PM  
Blogger Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

We aren't cranky. We just enjoyed a great brunch at Saint Ex (if you can believe it, they actually have decent morning food), and then partied for a bit on the front porch.

Don't point fingers! :)

4:39 PM  
Blogger The Governess said...

they do have good food, but never order the basil on your burger.

11:54 AM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

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1:23 AM  
Blogger MrKournikova said...

Elvis...that was great!!! I needed a good laugh..
Ladies, please pick up the effort..this was so much more fun when there was wit coming from both sides.

2:00 PM  
Blogger The Governess said...

I agree, it was much more fun.

That being said:

- The LJG needs to dry out.
- The Governess has 2 months of pure, unadulterated work hell to look forward too - just as it's getting warm out, of all indecencies.
- The Duchess has pretty much headed for the shore until fall comes around. I assume that golden tan doesn't come from a booth or a spray.


We'll be back.

Until then: chins up, boys.

4:10 PM  

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