CPJL: Our book would be titled SEXY GIRLS 'N HEELS DRINKING MARTINIS 'N SINGLE 'N A CITY 'N CRAP
YO.
Random House.
Yeah, you. I have sitemeter tracking our shit. Don't think I wouldn't call you out on this.
You were here quite a while, kitten.
It's summer, and I'm ready to scram from Cubicleville, where everyone wears double-knit poly and sensible bronze-y loafers. Random House, I am wearing khakis today. HELP, Random House. Help me help you. I'm ready for the big-time, baby. I'm an asteroid, hurtling toward earth. Lather me in silk and stick me in a fur-covered boudoir, Random House: I can be Jackie Collins. I can be anything you want. I will write new-school for you: in public on the internet; or I will write old-school if you wish: I will write charmingly, I will write wittily, I will write long-hand on yellow legal pads filched from my current job. I'm a born author.
Ring up and we can talk book deals, okay? I am willing to swallow pride and sell myself to the chick-lit devil, should you call... apparently lots of seemingly horrible internets cewebrities are doin' it these days. (HI STEPHANIE KLEIN OF NYC.)
I've been waiting to join in the unwashed authoring masses (read: bloggers) for the right amount of gold coins in a burlap bag.
Not a sermon, just a thought.
Random House.
Yeah, you. I have sitemeter tracking our shit. Don't think I wouldn't call you out on this.
You were here quite a while, kitten.
It's summer, and I'm ready to scram from Cubicleville, where everyone wears double-knit poly and sensible bronze-y loafers. Random House, I am wearing khakis today. HELP, Random House. Help me help you. I'm ready for the big-time, baby. I'm an asteroid, hurtling toward earth. Lather me in silk and stick me in a fur-covered boudoir, Random House: I can be Jackie Collins. I can be anything you want. I will write new-school for you: in public on the internet; or I will write old-school if you wish: I will write charmingly, I will write wittily, I will write long-hand on yellow legal pads filched from my current job. I'm a born author.
Ring up and we can talk book deals, okay? I am willing to swallow pride and sell myself to the chick-lit devil, should you call... apparently lots of seemingly horrible internets cewebrities are doin' it these days. (HI STEPHANIE KLEIN OF NYC.)
I've been waiting to join in the unwashed authoring masses (read: bloggers) for the right amount of gold coins in a burlap bag.
Not a sermon, just a thought.
posted by The Governess at Tuesday, May 24, 2005
11 Comments:
yeah, that happened to me once..
i desperately scanned my email accounts for the next couple days, muttering, "oh me, mr. knopf! pick me! pick me!"
but to no avail. i think they just like to get long-form bloggers' hopes up. of course,
then again, sometimes the lurkers are from scary-sounding branches of the DoD that make you wonder if you finally got found out...
(ahem.)
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Wow, CPMC, that snarky comment was kind of like old times. Awwww. Glad to see you back.
I'm assuming this means you boys are CONSTANTLY courted by NYC denizens of famous publishing houses... Can't wait to read "THE GENTLEMEN'S CLUB: OUR VERY SPECIAL LIFE." Release scheduled for next fall? Can we come to the pre-signing cocktail parties?
Besides, there is way more rookie shit out there then you'd believe.
If you REALLY thought we're all wrapped around ourselves over a junior publisher -uh, scratch that, INTERN looking at our website for approx. 3 seconds during her lunch break (accidentally, I'm sure) then you missed the joke.
NO! Don't!
If they go away, then we have to, to.
Remember, our book would be very difficult with them not writing it for us.
Snarkiness is hot.
then i should have a damn modeling contract by now.
Is it wrong to want to barf after reading Stephanie Klein? I shouldn't say things like that.
That feeling is only natural. The vomit, it's so very right. So very, very right.
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