Tuesday, May 24, 2005

CPJL: Our book would be titled SEXY GIRLS 'N HEELS DRINKING MARTINIS 'N SINGLE 'N A CITY 'N CRAP

YO.

Random House.

Yeah, you. I have sitemeter tracking our shit. Don't think I wouldn't call you out on this.

You were here quite a while, kitten.

It's summer, and I'm ready to scram from Cubicleville, where everyone wears double-knit poly and sensible bronze-y loafers. Random House, I am wearing khakis today. HELP, Random House. Help me help you. I'm ready for the big-time, baby. I'm an asteroid, hurtling toward earth. Lather me in silk and stick me in a fur-covered boudoir, Random House: I can be Jackie Collins. I can be anything you want. I will write new-school for you: in public on the internet; or I will write old-school if you wish: I will write charmingly, I will write wittily, I will write long-hand on yellow legal pads filched from my current job. I'm a born author.

Ring up and we can talk book deals, okay? I am willing to swallow pride and sell myself to the chick-lit devil, should you call... apparently lots of seemingly horrible internets cewebrities are doin' it these days. (HI STEPHANIE KLEIN OF NYC.)

I've been waiting to join in the unwashed authoring masses (read: bloggers) for the right amount of gold coins in a burlap bag.

Not a sermon, just a thought.

16 Comments:

Blogger Ethan Wiggum said...

yeah, that happened to me once..

i desperately scanned my email accounts for the next couple days, muttering, "oh me, mr. knopf! pick me! pick me!"

but to no avail. i think they just like to get long-form bloggers' hopes up. of course,

then again, sometimes the lurkers are from scary-sounding branches of the DoD that make you wonder if you finally got found out...

(ahem.)

11:31 PM  
Blogger Cleveland Park Men's Club said...

First time a publishing house read your stuff?

This post is sort of a rookie move, no?

11:59 PM  
Blogger The Governess said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:43 AM  
Blogger The Governess said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:46 AM  
Blogger The Governess said...

Wow, CPMC, that snarky comment was kind of like old times. Awwww. Glad to see you back.

I'm assuming this means you boys are CONSTANTLY courted by NYC denizens of famous publishing houses... Can't wait to read "THE GENTLEMEN'S CLUB: OUR VERY SPECIAL LIFE." Release scheduled for next fall? Can we come to the pre-signing cocktail parties?

Besides, there is way more rookie shit out there then you'd believe.

If you REALLY thought we're all wrapped around ourselves over a junior publisher -uh, scratch that, INTERN looking at our website for approx. 3 seconds during her lunch break (accidentally, I'm sure) then you missed the joke.

8:49 AM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

9:39 AM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

*sigh* Go away, CPMC.

9:42 AM  
Blogger The Governess said...

NO! Don't!

If they go away, then we have to, to.

Remember, our book would be very difficult with them not writing it for us.

9:56 AM  
Blogger The Senator said...

Snarkiness is hot.

11:09 AM  
Blogger The Governess said...

then i should have a damn modeling contract by now.

12:12 PM  
Blogger Lady Jane Grey said...

You and me both, Governess. Playboy just called, I'm THAT snarky today. grrrr.

2:22 PM  
Anonymous Kriston said...

Is it wrong to want to barf after reading Stephanie Klein? I shouldn't say things like that.

9:18 AM  
Blogger The Governess said...

That feeling is only natural. The vomit, it's so very right. So very, very right.

11:55 AM  
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